Surprise Party!

So this weekend, my sister and her family went to the beach. They came over to our house for the day. We had cupcakes and birthday presents ready for her oldest son (just turned 3, but when asked, says he’s 4 😂). They get here, and we immediately have cupcakes and open presents, then it was off to the pool for fun and games. They threw some balls around in the pool and this weird squishy frisbee that absorbed the water.

After pool time we made some delicious smash burgers on the grill. I was running back and forth from the grill to the kitchen helping my dad grill and my mom with the rest of the food. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

The weather was really nice – mostly sunny and warm and the pool water wasn’t cold (not warm either). It was kind of the perfect. My sister and her family were here, so was my brother and his family. We had a full house. Kids were running around everywhere, being wild and funny.

But then after dinner, everyone suddenly vanished. They were all gone from the main room (open floor plan house) and they were quiet. I just put in my headphones and continued to work in my journal. But then they slowly come out of my parents room, walking slowly (to music I couldn’t hear). After noticing them weirdly walking and avoiding my eyes, I notice they’re wearing matching t-shirts! All from the university I went to! Then they tossed me a t-shirt. I slipped it on and followed into another room. There, they’d somehow managed to get in a cake and decorations without me noticing!

We took a family picture together (even the toddlers had matching shirts, it was adorable). We ate cake. And everyone told me how proud they were of me. The truth was I absolutely hated the attention, so I’m glad it wasn’t a bigger party with more people. It was actually really sweet and nice. I also got presents! I got some candy from my parents, a shirt from my sister. I also got a book I’ve been thinking about getting! The Night and its Moon by Piper CJ. I’m reading it now – devouring it really. I love it!

Anyway, it was a great day! I hope y’all all are having a great Memorial Day weekend!

It’s over!

I finally graduated college with a BS in Psychology. It took me a long time; I took a long break from school to figure out a lot of things. But I finally did it! It’s like this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Now I just have to decide what to do next – besides this. Now I have time and hopefully the motivation to get back into my blog and write more often. We’ll see. I’m going to give it my best. 🤞🏼

So expect more soon! 😆

Update!

I’ve finished writing my research paper!

All that’s left for me is reading the rest of the textbook, which is only 3 chapters, but they’re very long chapters. And then there’s the final.

But I can do it!

It’s Finals Week!

This week is finals week for me for this semester. I also have a research paper due. It’s a little stressful to say the least. And when I get stressed out, I try not to think about whatever it is that’s stressing me out. Which means I procrastinate and just make things worse for myself. I know this, and yet I can’t seem to change it. It is what it is.

The class I’m taking is called “Family Violence.” It’s actually really depressing sort of. All the statistics on child abuse and the international abuse of women. It’s disturbing and makes me really question this world that we live in. I know that it’s a “fallen” world, but I mean seriously… So much is wrong with it. It makes it hard for me to think about, like my nephews growing up in this world. What will it be like for them? Not to mention the climate issues and all the trash in the ocean and all those other things! It makes me think I don’t want to bring a child into this world. But then, at the same time, like, the world can only get better with better people in it, right? So raise your kid up right and eventually things get better. I don’t know. I’m rambling, but that’s what I think about.

This class also makes me wonder about people I knew growing up and people I know now. How many of them have been exposed to some kind of violence in the home? It makes me wonder about those people who drive right on your tail and honk the horn or are consistently rude, cut you off while you’re driving… Is there something happening in their life? Is there an emergency? This class just makes me wonder about the people I see around and what their life is like.

But anyway, hopefully I will pass the final. Hopefully I’ll do well on my research paper that I’m procrastinating on. Eventually I’ll get it done. I was ahead of schedule and now I’m right on time, no more room for waiting. Yet, as I write this, I’m procrastinating again. Tomorrow morning, someone is coming bright and early to check our air conditioner or something. Which means that they have to get into the attic. Which is through my closet. Which means that I’ll have to be up bright and early too. Also, there’s the termite inspection tomorrow, when they go through your entire house and look at every nook and cranny. It’s… anxiety producing to say the least. But maybe tomorrow I’ll just try and focus on my paper and that will keep the anxiety down if I’m focused on my work. That sounds like a good plan to me. Now, hopefully, I’ll be able to stick to it. But the way I’ve been sleeping lately, I seriously doubt that. I haven’t been sleeping well and I’ve been sleeping later and later. Thank you PTSD and flashbacks in the middle of the night that wake me up and keep me awake. And even when I sleep I’m too tense to let myself fully relax. It’s exhausting to say the least.

But enough of my complaining…

tl;dr: It’s finals week and I am stressed and procrastinating and not sleeping well, PTSD.

Germ Factory

So while we were in Florida, when my nephew came over he had a terrible runny nose and watery eyes. We all assumed it was something blooming and allergies that were bothering him because it had been so long since he was in day care. Anyway… long story short: I’m sick. I started feeling like I had a sore throat the day before we left for home and ever since then it’s just gone down hill. I’m cautiously hopeful that I’m on the mend now because I can now, as of today, swallow without pain. But my voice is hoarse and sometimes just drops out in the middle of a word. It made talking on the phone to cancel an appointment very difficult, but I managed it. It seems like every time I see that nephew, I always get sick after. One time, which was no surprise I got sick, he crawled over to me on the couch and sneezed directly in my face. That was nice. 🙄 So that nephew is now called the Germ Factory. I love him to death anyway. And, to be perfectly honest, I think I would still take seeing him and getting sick over not seeing him.

Right now, at this exact moment, I am sitting outside on the back patio next to the pool writing this. I’m supposed to be writing a research paper for my class, but I’m ahead of schedule and trying to get back on schedule here – which means a post every Wednesday from me!

I didn’t grow up in a house like this. I had everything I ever wanted or needed, but my parents saved more money than they spent. Now that they’re close to retiring it’s paid off. They live in this beautiful new home (to us, I think it’s about 8 years old really), with a pool! I never had a pool growing up. We went to the neighborhood pool. At the time it was the best, but looking back at it and remembering… It was actually kind of gross. Too many times we all had to vacate the pool because some kid pooped in it and they had to shock the pool water. Or they heard thunder which meant we had to stay out of the water for 45 minutes – which to a kid, in summer, on a hot sunny day, felt like hours. But overall I think there are good memories there. Except the time I actually almost drowned. Which is a story for another day. I’ve got to get back to my research paper so I can stay ahead of schedule and finish it and not have to stress about it anymore!

If you’ve read this far, you’re awesome.

tl;dr My germ factory nephew got me sick and I feel awful.

New Adventures in the Wild

It’s been some crazy times lately! I’ve been gone for almost a year. COVID-19 quarantining sort of killed any writing creativity that I had. Of course, recently things have changed. I’ve gotten the vaccination shot (which I recommend to anyone who can get it, they should). Mask mandates are being lifted (not sure I completely agree with that). More stores and restaurants are being opened or available for take out. Life is slowly returning back to normal. Or, at least, a new kind of normal.

Right now, I’m visiting family in Florida. The weather today was gorgeous. It was warm, but with a breeze, low humidity and cool in the shade. Even though the high was 91˚F today!

My sister visited us today with her son – the nephew I’m closest too. It was a good day of riding around in the golf cart, napping, snacking, and visiting with them. It was really a nice day. She’s driving back to her in-law’s now. On our golf cart rides we look for all kinds of wildlife. Yesterday we saw owls and alligators. There weren’t any owls today, just alligators, but there were babies too.

Overall, it was a very good day. I’ll post some pictures, but they might be hard to see in some because of the distance and whether I was using my phone or my camera to take the pictures.

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  Anybody recognize what kind of owl this is? We’re in the middle of Florida.

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  This was from across the pond, all the way zoomed in as far as possible on my phone. Sorry for the poor quality.

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  Also spotted this kind of bird that can apparently hold its breath under water for quite a while. He’d just come up and was drying his feathers before he could fly. But for the life of me, I cannot remember the name of it that I was told. Any ideas? [Edit: This is an anhinga bird!]

But besides the adventures with wildlife, I am writing to say that I’m back. I might not be posting as regularly, but I will do my best. My class load should lighten up soon!

Another Beginning…

…this one less pleasant.

It’s the start of a new semester. This time I’m taking Abnormal Psychology so it’s something I’ll definitely be interested in. I was interested in ASL too, but the work of it made it less interesting to me if that makes sense. Abnormal psych though is a part of my life so learning more about it shouldn’t be too much of a hardship.

I went online and looked at the ratings of my professor. I’m not so sure it was a good idea. It’s got me super nervous. You know it said all the worst things, lots of work, tests every week, professor doesn’t answer emails (and being an online school that’s definitely a big issue), etc. It’s just got me concerned and I’m trying not to think about it. But it’s hard.

How have you coped with a difficult professor? (If she’s anything like her reviews, I’ll definitely be giving a detailed end of semester survey!)

Crazy Times!

I haven’t posted in a while. Why? So many reasons…

1. Coronavirus has been crazy! It’s really starting to get to me, but I know that I’m really quite lucky considering everything that’s going on.
2. School. This ASL class has a ton of work involved. Lots of making videos and video chats with different people which causes me a lot of anxiety. Without thinking about it I tend to avoid the things that make me anxious. So there’s procrastination galore. Which causes more stress about actually getting things done.
3. Moving. There’s a lot involved. Now there’s the official stay-at-home order, curfew… limited groceries, lots of stuff (more than I imagined)… issues at the new house, problems at the old house (gah!)
4. Work. Will we keep our jobs? Will we lose them? We will have to take a pay cut? This is my dream home, but it’s very possible that we made a mistake buying when we did, right as coronavirus hit us here…

Basically, there’s a ton going on. There’s worries about people keeping jobs… My brother already lost his thanks to the ‘rona and with a new baby I think things are going to be getting tight over in his household so if you pray, pray for those who are struggling and can’t see the end in sight.

Right now, I really just feel overwhelmed, stressed, and stupid. That’s where I’m at so for the quality of this blog I’ve decided to take a little break until I can get everything else somewhat under control.

If it’s possible, I’ll try to post a little something now and then… but don’t hold your breath.

Good luck to everyone! I hope you all keep your jobs or get a different job with better pay that you actually like (hopefully this happens to my brother soon)! Stay safe! And stay at home!

Technology is not my friend

My ASL 1 class has just started. Since it’s online we meet our professor and other “mentors” (other people who also teach ASL who we practice with) via Skype.

I may have mentioned this before, but technology is not my friend. I can do some things, but a lot is over my head. For example, I just rejoined Facebook as a way to be involved in the Deaf community while in quarantine (thank you COVID-19). There is so much about it that I just don’t understand and don’t know how to do things. I try to stay off it because I don’t want to do the wrong thing somehow and post something or something like that and embarrass myself with it.

Needless to say, Skype is also over my head. I just recently received a 0 because I couldn’t get my Skype to work to contact my mentor with whom I had scheduled the weekly meeting as per instructed. I hate making bad grades. I mean, I hate it. With my anxiety over other things, bad grades on top of it just stresses me out. When I get stressed out, I shut down. I sleep a lot. I don’t do things. I avoid, avoid, avoid. So that’s what’s been happening for me.

I’ve got a new appointment with a mentor scheduled for this week and hopefully I’ll have figured it out and don’t miss it again. Other than my issues with technology, I’m loving the class, learning the new signs and everything. So interesting and the nerd in me says fun too!

Facebook and ASL

My new ASL (American Sign Language) class just started yesterday. Since it’s online, the coronavirus has no effect on the class.

Part of the requirements of the class is getting involved in the deaf community. That part is kind of ruled out for now, so I thought about it and how I could get my hours involved in the deaf community. This is what was suggested to me: Facebook.

Ah, the dreaded Facebook. I haven’t had a Facebook account in 10 years. I don’t like Facebook. But it had to be done. So I now have a Facebook account. People I haven’t spoken to in years are friend requesting me. Parents of friends I had when I was growing up are friend requesting me. I don’t know what to do about that, so the requests are being ignored for now. I found some groups and joined, or pages – whatever.

I don’t like having a Facebook but if it’s the only/best way to get involved with the deaf community at the moment, I’ll suck it up and do it.

I guess my point with this post is to say I’m putting myself out there on Facebook and that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Next, that my ASL class has started and I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to learn the language.

Anyone else out there learning ASL? or interested in ASL?