One of My Favorites

One of my favorite TV shows is a British comedy show. It’s just hilarious. Every single episode I find something to laugh at without it being crude or vulgar. It’s a show you can watch with your parents or grandparents, but it is actually interesting. It’s on Amazon Prime Video, if you have that you can watch it.

The name of it is Doc Martin. It’s just so funny and there isn’t a lot of sex and drama in it. Of course, it is the famous British dry sense of humor. But let me tell you, it had me laughing, my mother laughing, and believe it or not, my father laughing. And my father doesn’t laugh at just anything. Usually he doesn’t stay awake long enough to laugh at something, but for Doc Martin he does.

Even if you’re not sure whether you like British humor or not, I think it’s worth giving it a shot for a few episodes. I can almost guarantee that you’ll fall in love with it.

It’s about a big city surgeon who can no longer be a surgeon and instead becomes a GP in the small seaside town of Portwenn. He’s socially awkward, terrible bedside manner, but excellent doctor. You’d be surprised at the crazy things the villagers get up to and end up calling for the doctor. And there’s a dog. The doctor can’t stand the dog, but the dog loves him and follows him everywhere. I should warn you, they do the medical procedures very graphically. (I’d say realistically, but I have no idea if it’s close to real life medicine practice or not.)

Give it a chance. It might take more than one episode. As my dad says, the more you watch it, the more you like it (and find it hilarious).

Another Diagnosis

My psychiatrist doesn’t live in my state. She used to, but then she moved and now we have our appointments online. I don’t need to leave the house which is something that I love, but it’s also a problem. Part of the problem is that I stopped going to therapy. I just felt like I wasn’t getting anything from it and I sat in an uncomfortable chair, in a too warm office for an hour and complained. I don’t know if I’m doing it wrong or what, but them’s the facts.

My new diagnosis, I’m sure you’re wondering what it is. Well, it’s dum, dum dum! … I’m now diagnosed with agoraphobia! What’s agoraphobia, you ask? It’s a type of anxiety disorder where you avoid things that make you uncomfortable, that could bring on a panic attack or other things that you don’t like.

Having PTSD, it makes leaving my house a little difficult and very exhausting. Being on constant alert, not trusting anyone even if they’re just shopping the same aisle in the grocery store as I am, I’m wondering if they’re going to try to steal from me or hurt me, what do they want? The answer: nothing. They don’t care two figs about me. I know this, but my brain doesn’t when I’m in the moment.

So basically, my agoraphobia means that I don’t leave the house. And when I say that I don’t leave the house, I mean literally I don’t leave the house. I’ve gone into the garage a handful of times. I’ve been in the front yard three times and the back four times. That’s all been since mid-July 2019? I have left the house I think twice to go to my sister’s, but that’s in straight into the car and then straight into her house for the remainder of the trip. Other than my sister’s, I went to my brother’s once late at night to pick up his dog (his baby was in the hospital-whole other story I might tell you later).

Being agoraphobic in this day and age isn’t all that bad. I mean, all the streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, Disney+, YouTube TV) and I can watch literally anything I want. I can have a meal delivered to me from almost any restaurant. And I’ve just recently learned that grocery stores will do the shopping for me. I pick out what I want from online, someone goes around and picks it all up, I pay for it online and then it miraculously shows up at my front door!

So while it isn’t all that bad for me, it actually is that bad for me. Because it doesn’t force me to go out and do things, leave the house. It’s much easier to sink back further into my hole. But since I’ve decided that I’ll be posting something on here once a week, I’ll have to get out and do something. Something that I can talk about. So don’t worry! I’ll try to keep this the least boring blog as possible.

Hello old friend

So it’s been a long time. We’ve entered a whole new decade in fact and still I haven’t written. (I’m doing this on mobile because it’s not quite 6 am and I am not getting out of bed for my computer.)

I’m going to try to write one post a week. That seems manageable.

Today I’ll catch you up a little. Remember that time I was at the beach? I was staying in my grandmother’s condo which she would rent out (but we got free use). It got a make over (first time since the 70s) and it’s gorgeous and comfortable now. Also, it’s just recently been taken off the rental options now! Now it’s just the family’s to use whenever we need or want to. It’s going to be really nice.

I’ve also started school. I’m not sure, I may have already told you that. But anyway. I’m in school taking my classes and even though it’s only 9 week courses, they can be pretty intense. Which is really why I’ve fallen off of writing here is because I write so much more than I expected to in psychology class. But that’s major so, stiff upper lip and do the work!

I’m down to needing 10 classes to graduate but there are three more I want to take before I graduate that I don’t technically need – ASL. I’ve kind of become obsessed with it. I bought a “dictionary” of sorts of words and have been teaching myself the vocabulary online and a little of the grammar structure. The truth is, though, you really need another person to teach it and practice it with you. I don’t like taking two classes at once because it stresses me out so much, but I’m hoping if I enjoy the two classes that it’ll be much easier to do. I’m already enrolled for ASL 1 next semester and learned I need a webcam. I have a MacBook so it’s got a camera and I’m hoping I don’t have to buy another. I understand the camera is necessary but putting my face out there makes me really uncomfortable. I’m always the one behind the camera taking pictures or filming. But again, stiff upper lip. I really want to learn it. I think it’s a beautiful language that’s 3D and amazing. So it should be worth it.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you come back next week sometime and read another thank you! I should warn you that I have absolutely no theme in mind. It’ll just go with whatever my mood of the day is. And it can be pretty sporadic.

See y’all next time! 🤟🏼