Family Time

I’m headed out for a trip to spend some time with my sister and brother-in-law.  I love them, I really do. But family time makes me uncomfortable. Since what happened to me happened, I’ve learned to shut off most of my emotions. Around family, though, you’re supposed to show all the excitement and love and all that. I’m not a big fan of hugging either, but they are. I don’t want to hurt their feelings so I suck it up.

Still, while I love to hang out with them, I get tired out very quickly because the entire time I’m putting on a face and acting. They don’t know what I’ve been through. Not really. I don’t really want them to either. That’s something that you’ll never be able to get out of your head. I don’t want more people to live with it than have to.

It makes things difficult because we have two very different views of the world. Hers is a safe, untouched on the happier scale. That’s a good thing. Sometimes, I’ll admit, I am jealous but I try not to let it show. I love my sister, but we’ve never been close — too different.

It’s nice being around them, I like spending the holidays with them, but this isn’t a holiday.  Our dogs love each other though.  Those two dogs are opposites. Mine’s older, much smaller (10 lbs), and all black (with a gray little beard). Hers is tall, weighs twice as much and is mostly white with a few brindle spots (and lots of freckles under her fur).  A whippet and a dachshund mix. One a pure bred from a registered breeder, the other a mixed rescued dog. But they’re hilarious to watch. Cammie is short and trots along, her tags tinkling with each step. Then there’s Penny, the skinny dog with a curly tail. She silently follows Cammie. When Cammie doesn’t have anything to do, she naps. When Penny doesn’t, she paces. She’ll just walk silent circles around the coffee table in the living room. She’s like a shark. She’s such a sweet dog and really pretty.

The dogs love to be with each other. When we’re all together, Penny doesn’t care about anything but Cammie. So that’s what I’m really looking forward to — letting to dogs play together.

tl;dr I’m driving 4.5 hrs to stay a couple of weeks so Cammie has an epic doggy play day, even though the people make me uncomfortable.

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